Who am I? ♥

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
Who is that perfect bride?
It’s not me, though I’ve tried.
When will my reflection show, who I am, inside?

You ask me to define who I am and I laugh at the silly question. I don’t define me; everything else does. The way I see myself is not how the world sees me. The universe, I think is against me. Well, somewhat. The universe defines who I am and what I live for. We are all born for a purpose and God himself gives it to us. But finding our purpose, to me, is the only way you can define yourself.

And I haven’t yet found mine.

You could say that because I don’t believe in defining myself that I’ve gone crazy. You could say that I’m only a dreamer and am foolishly avoiding the subject. What then is the way to define oneself? Is it the way you look at the world and how you embrace others? Is it through the swing in your hips as you sway to a familiar song? Is it that hint of sadness behind every smile? You can’t tell me how to find myself. I already know. It is with lucrative serendipity that I inform you of this. By an account of how I see things, I am simply an unimportant piece of history and in a hundred year’s time, I’ll more likely than not be forgotten. I’m only a small part of the big picture- SOMEONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE WORLD CHANGE BUT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

By an account of how I see myself, I am a short, 16-year-old girl. I have dark brown hair, a wide nose, pale skin tone and abnormally straight teeth for never having had braces. I have almond shape dark brown eyes. I am nothing special to look at. By an account of who I want to be, I am somewhat smart, a  journalist who spends her time sitting by the water with a pen in hand, clearing her head as she watches the words explode across her paper. I am a person who feels for others and has empathy for those in need. I am someone who’s seen the world and knows of other people’s stories. I have a loving family that includes one athletic son and one spoiled daughter. I spend my days listening to music and soaking in the rays of the sun, ignoring my reflection on the water because, for once-I’m happy with how I look and don’t need to worry about it.

By an account of myself though, I am a mystery. The trouble is that I don’t know who I am. I don’t know me and neither do you. You might have your ideas and your judgements, but at the end of the day, it’s never going to be quite right. No assumption is ever accurate. In fact, more often than not, assumptions are letdowns. That’s the thing about assuming- it’s never as good as you hope. So please, I beg you, do not assume of me. And I, in return, will not assume anything of you.

In reading this, I hope you reflect upon who you are. Because not knowing who not knowing who you are means not having your ducks in a row. I was always taught as a child that you should have followed a certain plan. First comes to school, then college, succeeded by a job. Somewhere along the line you’re supposed to find a suitable mate and settle down through marriage and produce offspring, but my lesson to you now deals with the certain truth that you don’t need to follow this plan to discover who you are. Feel free to venture off into the horizon and chase your dreams no matter how out of reach they may seem. Search for happiness in each corner of our spherical world. There have been many accounts through history of those who have done such and came only to meet their untimely death. But at least, these people have died trying.

Perhaps finding yourself means coming to terms with your inner soul or accepting yourself or some other cliché. In such a case, I am far from that realization. It has become apparent to me that finding yourself takes time, and maybe that’s the trouble with this topic. I haven’t had enough time to decide what kind of person I am. I’ve been here for 16 years and all I did was babble and think nonsense. Whoever I may be, it really doesn’t matter in the end. As long as I leave the world a better place than I found it, I will have succeeded. I call that a win. I know I want to devote at least some of my life to helping others, so I guess that starts here. So whoever you are, no matter you may be, I want you to find yourself. Come to terms with your faith. Forgive and forget. Travel. See the world. Listen to people. Do what you love. But above all, never settle for less than what you know you can achieve.

And here’s hoping we all learn who we’re going to be~